Now tell me.....

[JaN_zIe]

I'm 19 soon.

And I have a problem.

I'm over the childish phase of needing a petbrother to survive everyday life. (I'm being very, very sarcastic.) Most of my past "brotherly sisterly" stuff has died down due to MATURITY, but somehow, there's just one person who won't budge.

This friend of mine, whom I made a silly pact with many years ago, is still being serious with the whole petbro-petsis thing. He's 21 this year BY THE WAY. He thinks that just because I'm his petsister (I've stopped regarding him as a petbro by the way.), he has some form of control over me like real brothers do. I don't like that. No other person has the right to treat me that way besides the people I respect in my family.

People have come up to us and said things like "How old are you lah?! Still got kai kor kai mui ah? Siao leh."

The worst part is he thinks that he can touch me and share drinks with me all the time (all the time, seriously.) just because I'm his "mui". My goodness! The worst part is that he has this issue with being clingy and can't stand being alone. Because of his nature, he drags me around because his "mui" needs to fill his boredom.

I really don't know what to do with this man. or boy. seriously. I'm sick and tired of being treated this way!

.....I know you guys must think I'm over-reacting, but I really needed to vent my frustrations. I think you guys are a wise bunch and could probably offer me advice to deal with this person....please?

[~Rogue~]

well, 1st i think this guy has an serious issue on his clingy-ness!! u can either give him some hints to show that the petbro and sis thinggy is over, or u can just spill it out directly into his face(well that would definitely hurt him)!

ok, now the touching part!!, that way over man, u can just simply touch ppl espeacially ur opposite site, i will definitely scold him kao kao, if someone does that to me,

well, if i were u , i will sit down and talk to him nicely , and says we will remains as frens rather den the over clingy petbro and sis relation!,   

[SirViper]

maybe he love you........................*sigh*

[DayDreamerz]

Erm... I don't know anything about this petbro/sis concept so gonna keep out of it.

But generally, I'd say you should gradually express displeasure or turn down his requests if you don't feel like doing it, just like treating any other people. After all, you've grown up too so you'll have your own thoughts. If he doesn't respect that I'd say he deserves the cold shoulder treatment or the more drastic "1 chop 2 pieces" chinese proverb.

[xelloss_sama]

maybe he love you........................*sigh*

spoken based on his own experience... hehehe

[fellowhoodlum]

And a quote from another perspective:

"A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."

[yuii]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA fellow, YOU ROCK!!! OMG dat was so damn funny!!!

k, back to the serious issues... I guess you know best what to do. If you really find him annoying then I guess it's the cold shoulder like DD said. Ignore, irk, shun, whatever method u gotta use. Otherwise yah, communicate with him - that you don't like what he's doing. Sit down and tell him properly with a serious manner.

[cyan198]

just wanna laugh on fellow's quote hehehhe.. sorry jan..

but i have the same thought as everybody else here..

[JaN_zIe]

And a quote from another perspective:

"A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."

This really cracked me up haha!

Hey guys - thanks for the advice so far. I AM ignoring him now. Sad thing is I have to see him in a few days' time, because we're working on a project together. He's pushing a lot of the work to me just because I'm the secretary. Meh, not fun. But I will be patient.....till he annoys me. AGAIN.

[luvlee]

i only had 1 kai mui from school days and i still refer to her as kai mui...
we still keep in contact and i dare say she tells me more stuff than she tells her real sis.
u are nvr too old for the things u love... heck i care plp say it's childish


but in ur case ah... in one word i'd say EEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEERRRR!!
these kind of plp u need b firm with out hurting their feelings as they may turn against u and hold grudges..

i don't think ignoring works...
just say some crap like "ur lil mui mui is all grown up.. and ur cramping he lifestyle"
try to make it seem like it's his idea to "cut the tie". once it happens nvr turn back..

if he say he take it back just say ur damn hurt ledi..
n u nvr ever wanna talk to/see him again...

come to think of it, u guys are working on project together rite??
my plan only works if u can avoid him permanently.

[fellowhoodlum]

I posted that quote partly because it's true also.

Anyhow, ignoring will only worsen the situation. I won't go into details on how.

Best to speak to him in private and draw the line on what is okay and what is not, like "no touchy-touchy me".

Make sure both sides are clear and have understood. And don't play double standards, it will also make things worse.

Plan B: If the above doesn't work. Punch him in the nutsack; it's a language all guys can understand.